Holidays SUCK!

Now, hold on before you get your nipples all knotted up. I like the holidays just as much as the next asshole, but if you don't realize the sucky part of holidays, you're either detached from your brain stem or so fucking ignorant you can't tell Thanksgiving from Valentines Day. Yes, it's great to get a break from those back stabbing worthless pricks we call co-workers. And it's nice to stay up late and drink without forcing yourself up before dawn and maneuver your still drunken ass to work.

If you have Thanksgiving at your place and are planning on having a bunch of family and/or friends over, stock up on the booze and Xanax and try to get alcohol poisoning before anyone shows up. This will dull the pain of pretending to like everyone at your house and what their boring lives are up to. If it's anything like it is at my family gatherings, someone is bound to at least do one of the following: get too drunk) start crying) get in a fight) leave before dinner) throw up) pass out) get arrested). Wait, that was last years Thanksgiving. Anywho, it's guaranteed to suck at some degree. It's the law.

Now, if you're single, or not planning on driving back to grandma's because you don't have $2,000 for gas and are going to stay home and lay low, it still sucks, but not nearly as much. The thing that sucks is you probably won't have turkey, because who is going to make a turkey dinner just for themselves? And if you do, you're an extreme flamer with way too much time and too many issues. Besides, is turkey so fucking good that you constantly order it when you go out?!? It's usually not even on the fucking menu. You can't go out to eat, because most shit is closed. So you have to plan ahead, and buy a good frozen pizza, booze, munchies, and a fresh refill from your local pharmacy. (insert drug of choice here).

So it comes down to logistical willingness and personal happiness. Hmmm....should I put up with bullshit drivers, massive traffic jams, insane gas prices, just to get wasted around my family and eat some cold ugly bird? Or stay home, get just as wasted if not more, eat what the fuck I want, sleep in my own bed, and not be reminded of how much of a dissapointment I am? I don't know how I'm going to be able to answer that one.

Yeah, holidays SUCK and you know it. Now time for your drunkening.