News Media SUCKS!

We all know the news media fucking sucks, but they have out done their ass kissery recently. The news anchors tongues are just ass darts to suck up to whomever they are interviewing. I'm a self confessed "news junkie", but it's gotten to the point where I can't stand watching network news. I now get daily news info from the Cartoon Network. It's more informative and not as funny.

Balack Oslammy-Apparently we have a new president getting sworn in or something. Yeah, I was shocked when I heard it as well. His name escapes me at the moment, but if I lift up my eyes from my computer screen, perhaps it will come to me. Ah, there it is. My dog just walked by with a banner of his name on his side. Bad dog, go to the bathroom. So get this, NBC and the other loser stations are...get this...doing 15 FUCKING HOURS of coverage on the inauguration. Fifteen hours. Holy Shit! Do they have to do it in English and then again in Ebonics? What could they possible talk about for 15 fucking hours? If you watch, let me know. On second thought, don't cuz I don't give a monkey's ass. Tuesday is new video release day, and I'm getting the entire 2nd season of "Saved by the Bell" on DVD.

Now, before you get your panties all bunched up on the left side of your ass, yeah I get it. New prez, he's gonna piss gold, walk on water, save the world, historical moment, blah blah blah. Another historical moment was when I discovered Mr. Meat Bat was made for more than peeing but I don't shove it down your throat for 15 hours. Wait....scratch that. I guess I'll be super bummed out for missing the inauguration when I wake up on Wednesday morning and the world is at peace and everyone is rich and I'll have to get used to seeing that permanent rainbow in the sky. Un-huh.

Hero...NOT- Bird attacks plane, bird wins. So Sam Drucker from Green Acres here sucked up a flock of birds in his engine in New York. Ohhh boy! Wait til' PETA hears about that one. Boooyyyy you in trouuubbble! So I'm watching this shit live, and I told my girlfriend, watch, they'll call him a hero. Sure as shit, 2 hours later, hero is splashed over the screen. Hero. Really? He crashed an airplane and he's a hero? Hmmm. Pilot crashes = hero. So me speeding ticket=NASCAR Race driver. Oh, makes sense. So Sam crash lands the plane in the Hudson river and everyone gets off the plane. Um, end of story? No I say. Why? Becuase damn it! He's a fucking hero! Really, a hero? Lets reflect shall we? Lets.

So this guy is a pilot. What's his job you might ask? To fly a fucking plane, and to TRAIN on scenarios when shit doesn't go right. AND he trained others on what to do in these emergencies. AND he was also on the safety board for training for this shit. AND...it hit a bird! This shit happens ALOT. AND...he gets paid a LOT of money for this shit. When a plane crashes, usually people die. But when one lands and people walk, he's a hero. Give me a fucking break! THIS IS YOUR FUCKING JOB! It's what you get paid a TON of money for! Obviously I am glad nobody died and nobody on the ground was killed or injured. I think he did a great JOB. There's that word again. But the heroes I know of are in some shitty unmarked hole in the ground in France, or in Korea, Vietnam, Iraq. Those people did a JOB that they knew they were probably going to get killed. But the fucking news media won't do a story on Billy Nobody from Fuckstick, Idaho. He didn't get paid a lot, he didn't 'expect' to come back everyday. He had people he was responsible for too. But he was being shot at, with real live bullets. Not dodging fucking birds. He went without food, without sleep. He was cold and wet, he was hot and dry. He didn't have his wife and kids on the news smiling for the cameras. He never had a wife, he never had children. Because he never came home. Because he did a shitty thankless job that nobody wanted to and was killed so others could climb aboard some plane and go on vacation and suck up a bird and get saved be a real 'hero'.

REMEMBER THIS PEOPLE-We never get to thank Heroes.

News Media SUCKS!