Holidays SUCK!!

I know..it's been a LONG time since I've wrote anything.  I have LOTS to catch up on, and I will...in time.  So settle down you cunt fag.  I hate the holidays.  I'm older, still away from family, no friends, future, money...blah blah blah.   So it fucking sucks.  The only GOOD thing about the holidays is you get a few days off from work.  No wait!!  That SUCKS TOO!  Beacause I don't get FUCKING PAID!

See!  Told you holidays SUCK!

The Oscars SUCK!

Okay, they always fucking suck. When I heard Hugh "really, he's not gay....he has a wife and adopted kids and everything!" Jackman was hosting, I thought it would turn into a dancing singing peen show. But it was actually pretty fucking good as far as this shit goes. But we have to state the obvious fucking reasons why Hollywood is still the biggest shit hole full of looney turds on the planet.

Not dressing. Okay you self important bloated shit toads. This is just ONE fucking night when anyone who has electricity in their country and knows somebody with a TV watches your stupid self important asses. Do think just MAYBE you could wear something appropriate??! Fuck! Even I take off my sweatpants and put on normal job wearing duds when I have a job interview! Well, if I ever had an interview I mean. Fuck you! It could happen! Hey Phillip Seymour "I like to snort coke off of 12 year old girls ass and molest them while my girlfriend crams a dildo up my ass" Hoffman! Is that your 'official' going to the Oscars stocking cap?!? Wow there slimdog millionaire, thanks for not even trying. Really, it's okay. We know your fat, and bald, and ugly, and a child molester, and a coke head. Ugly fucking shit loser. Good actor, don't get me wrong! But it all ends right there.



Ummm......Goldie?!? Got a minute hun? Over here! Shhhhh! Hey, just so ya know?!? Umm, nobody has EVER wanted to see your pancake tits since the sixties, and they sure in the fuck don't want to see them now. So here's a headband, now just slip it over your poppie floppys before you go out there and present the next award, okay? Jesus, even Kurt doesn't want to to see those sun dried raisins.

Acceptance Speeches-Fuck, don't even get me going. I'm sure we can all agree we absolutely cringe when nobody you've ever heard of and could give a tit shit about gets up and reads even more names of people we've never heard of and could give a tit shit about. Kate Winslet had the best speech of the night when she asked her dad to whistle. That shit was fucking great! Because it's real and SOOOO non Hollywood. Most of the other speeches I couldn't understand if I had a fucking translator. Shit, I thought for a moment my dog stepped on the remote and changed the channel to a story on Al-Qaeda suicide bombers. Mickey Rourke didn't win the Oscar, but he won the coolest fucking person in the entire God Damn room award. Sean Peen is a fucking pencil dick asshole who still had to spout out his normal nobody gives a shit about your political views bullshit. Oh, and I love the way he thanked his wife. Oh, wait a minute. That's right, he didn't. Well that's understandable, considering she's not the one he's been fucking since he married her. What a fucking douchefag. Oh, and if you ever see me renting "Milk", it's not me. Someone has over taken my body and I'm already dead, so don't bother talking to my corpse.

Performances-They always suck. But if Beyonce wasn't lip syncing, I'll blow my dad while screwing my dog in the pooper. Well, this time it's over a bet, so it's different. Can't we all just agree that those singing and dancing routines have ZERO relevance since the 1950's?!? Holy fucking cat cocks. Those things are the most boring things on television. Well, besides a Ryan Seacrest interview. Like I said, I enjoyed the opening of the show and it was original and new. But then again I was drunk and the percocet was humming happily through my veins. I would have thought Ernest Borgnine in a thong would have been cool.

Surprises-None. I picked every fucking winner before it even started. And that just sucks. Because I wanted Mickey Rourke to win, but I picked Sean Peen. But how cool would it have been if Mickey Rourke stormed the stage and beat the shit out of Peen and took his Oscar! Mmmm, now there's hours of self-pleasuring thoughts!

Wrap-Up: As usual, it went too long, no big surprises. Once again they should take out all those "nobody gives a fucking shit about" awards and narrow it down to 2 hours so I can get back to watching LockUp on National Geographic. If you ever want to see REAL acting, catch that show. Imagine how you would have to act just to stay alive! "Why yes, I am your new 'celly', and happy to be here. What's that? You want me to sit on your lap while you comfort me? Gee, this place is going to be just swell!!"

Oscars SUCK!

SACK OF SUCK!

This is a new post that will appear from time to time. Just random multiple topics that suck with no order or thought process. Hey! Just like my life! Cooool

#1 SUCK: COMPUTERS! Holy mother cat ass fucking piece of shit covered dildo juice! Why in the FUCK is my computer such a piece of whore bait fucking shit!?!? It's not even a fucking year old! It's a Toshiba laptop widescreen and I love it. But lately it's grown a cock and has fucked me in the ass then made me suck my own shit off it every fucking miserable day of my life. NOTHING works right. I used to play online games on this fucking thing all the time. Mostly, World of Warcraft. And fuck you punk zit faced fuckers, I'm a level 80 BADASS fucking warrior! And I'm an officer in my guild, so suck my pee. But now I can't even get logged back into the game. Granted, lately I've been doing a lot of work on my blog as well as other blogs lately, but fuck that faggot shit! WTF?!? And I have a degree in computers and STILL can't get this fucker to run right. Bill Gates better hope like FUCK we don't run into each other.

#2 SUCK: CABLE COMPANIES: So suck on this. My faggot cable company, Dimhouse (Brighthouse) Networks sent me my monthly cable bill. But this time, they didn't include a return envelope for me to send my bill. FUCK YOU asshole paper tree killers I thought to myself. I'll just pay online. Yes, I'll show them with my suave computer techy knowhow. So, I logged onto thier crusty cunted website that is powered by 2 AIDS invested gerbals running in a wheel, and filled out their 24,000 questions and paid my fucking bill. Low and behold, I get a letter from them 5 days later stating that my payment has been "returned" by my bank, AND they added a $35.00 charge! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!? So, I called my bank about this, and they emailed me a statement stating that NO CABLE COMPANY had requested a payment from my account. So I called the cable company, and they said it was because I entered the info wrong. WELL! If I did! Then WHO RETURNED IT?!?! FUCKERS! I told them I have NEVER been late, nor missed a payment EVER. And I will NOT pay this charge. Ya know, you would think they would bend over backwards and suck their own clits to keep customers now days, but not these fucks. Well, they said they would get back to me. I paid the normal fee and we'll have to see what happens. Oh, and BTW, I don't have a choice of cable companies. It's this, or cover my dog in Reynolds Aluminum Foil and attach a speaker wire to him to my TV.

#3 SUCK: DISTANCE: If you're like me, and I've never met anyone who is, so shut the fuck up.
But I live a LONG ways away from my family and friends. Today I had two family members go in for surgery on the same day for the SAME thing! I knoowwww! How creepy is that?!? But it just fucking blows harder than Andy Dick in rehab being that far from your family to be there to support them and help them. Especially when you have fucking absolutely zero going on in your life besides deciding what pair of sweat pants to wear that day and planning your TV schedule. Trust me, I know what it's like to be alone. I've been alone most of my adult life. Even while IN a relationship. But more so, I had to have a co-worker drop me off at the hospital when I went in for surgery to replace 2 disks in my neck. Then he showed up the next day to drive me home. When I had my back surgery, the girl I was dating just "had" to go to Venice the DAY I was having my surgery, because..hey...that's important! And I had to have another friend pick me up from the hospital. Nobody came, no calls, nothing. My poor sister who is having surgery came up from another state to stay with me for a week to help me. I'll never forget that, nor the ones who left me when I needed them most. Distance. It measures both ways.

Grammys SUCK!

I didn't think it was possible for this piece of shit show to get worse each fucking year, but I was wrong. Now, I didn't watch it, but I am going to safely assume it sucked big hairy monkey balls. I mean, how in the fuck couldn't it suck? When the majority of the lineup is tweenies and 'rappers' out on parole, you know the music industry has officially giving the fuck up and is completely out of new ideas and talent. Miley Cyrus and the BoneUs Brothers?!? Seriously. That's all you got. This is 'music' today? I understand the Grammys trying to be 'popular'. Well, not really. Unless having 2 dogs on the couch with me at the same time at once counts. But if you look at the disaster of the lineup, who in the fuck would watch it unless it was the only channel you got, and you lost your remote, and your legally blind, and the batteries died in your hearing aid?

First up; Rappers. Oh dear heavenly Jebus up in cloud land, I hate these piece of shit fucking posers more than any other life form on our suck ass planet. First of all, why do rappers always say "Just keeping it real", when none of them use their real fucking names?!? WTF?!? How REAL is that? How come pro athletes use their real names but 'rappers' don't? Umm, well, for one, it's extremely fucking gay and they would get the shit beat out of them everyday in the locker room by their teammates. But mostly, athletes are proud of their accomplishments and how hard they WORKED to get where they are (except A-Rod that cunt). So they want to keep their real name so their families can show some well deserved pride. But anybody can say, yeah, T-Bone or Lip Tag or Puff Zitty is my brother. Get the fuck over yourselves and your over inflated egos you fucking ex-cons. Oh, how many even play an instrument?!? Sorry, crack pipes and microphones don't count. I wonder why DMX and Chris Brown weren't there? Oh yeah, busy being 'rappers'. I forget and the shits.

I was unfortunate enough to catch a few glimpses of the Grammys during commercial breaks while watching the antique sofa repair channel. Stevie Wonder was doing some horrible rendition with the BoneUs Brothers of Superstition. Now, Stevie sounded pretty good. I've seen him twice in concert and he's fucking awesome. But hey, here's a shocker, the BoneUs Brothers forgot the fucking lyrics during the song! You know, because they're professional musicians and they're at the Grammys. And they couldn't hit a fucking note if I held it on the ground at their feet. Holy fucking tampon juice! This is what you had for the 'big' closing number? Stevie alone, yeah I can see that. But sadly, once again the Grammys confuse music with popularity. This is why half the crowd was full of fucking 'reality star' has beens and American Idol rejects. These pukes got invited because.... Well, I got nothing here. Somebody explain that 'target' audience to me. No don't. I dont' give a shit. And Paris Hilton was there?!? That walking Petri dish should have been tasered and then beat to a fine bloody pulp by security when she tried to get on the red carpet. Of course while wearing plastic gloves. Safety first kiddies!

The only thing that I liked, was that Robert Plant beat out "Lil Penis" or whatever that ugly fucking piece of non talented thug monkey's name is. And of course, all the rags and talk shows the next day were talking about how Robert Plant looked. Nothing about how he sounded. This is the entire fucking point. It's gotten to the point where it's all about how you fucking look and your bling and your popularity rather than the substance of your talent. This is why I don't need to update my music library. Because most of the music in the last 8 years has sucked, the "musicians" suck, if you go out to a bar and are over the age of 20, you can't stand the fucking shit noise that comes out of the speakers unless your methed out in the middle of a 7 hour skank grind on the dance floor. Or the Kodak Theatre. Same thing.

Grammys SUCK!

Non-Smokers SUCK! ! !

Yeah, trust me, ya do. Now, if you don't smoke, I think that's just swell Wally. And I promise I won't blow my smoke in your life area and give you black lung and rape your kiddies and murder your parents. Because, well, that's what us smokers do.

In this unprecedented time of economical strife, rampant crime, record breaking layoffs and unemployment, the Indiana legislature is busy in the house trying to pass a law banning ALL buildings in the entire state from smoking. Yeah, they sure have their finger on the pulse of the country.

First things first. If you don't smoke, great. Fucking happy as ice nipples for ya. For those of us who do, we are once again being 'told' that we now can't smoke anywhere but in our homes and our vehicles. America....Land of the FREE. Um, nope. Pursuit of happiness. Puhleeze. Liberty and Justice for some. Damn straight! I believe everyone has a right to breathe. Yup, fine. But what the REAL issue is at stake, is basic rights....FOR ALL! Even the SMOKERS! I'm SO fucking sick and tired of getting treated like a non-citizen because I CHOOSE to smoke. I pay MORE taxes than non smokers because of the high taxes put on cigs. So, if they want everyone to stop, where will the state get the money to supplement the loss of tax income?!?

Maybe we should start putting high taxes on fatty foods and fast food joints and tax the fuck out of fat asses! Non smokers say that smokers are just killing themselves and they are having to pay the hospital and medical costs. Are you fucking kidding me?!? Nobody..repeat...NOBODY has EVER paid MY fucking hospital bills. EVER! How many fat fucks are in the doctor's office because of their fat fucking ass and their high blood pressure, over worked hearts, weak bones from carrying around all their tonnage? If non smokers don't want smokers to "kill themselves", ummm...why don't you just out law bars and taverns?!? Many of a non smokers have left bars fucked up off their asses and killed Innocent drivers! Why don't we out law all bars then? Save the non smokers! Give me a fucking titty break.

I have smoked since I was a teenager. My great aunts, uncles, parents, etc., have ALL smoked. My Great Uncle smoked THREE packs a DAY! Lived alone in his own house until the day he died at 92 years old. Not ONE person in my entire family has ever had a heart attack, lung disease, respiratory problems, nadda. My doctors have told me that I am actually HEALTHIER than thier non-smoking patients! Becuase even though I CHOOSE to smoke, I also workout several times a week and watch what I eat. So what's the deal? How come we all didn't die in an iron lung? What about the people who die of lung and heart disease who have NEVER smoked in their lives? What about the 'healthy' people who keel over at 40 from a heart attack who never smoked? And don't EVEN try to pull that second hand smoke bullshit. Most non smokers surround themselves with non smokers.

It's plain and simple. It's fucking genetics people. You're born with it, or your not. My doctor even agrees with me on this. Yeah, maybe if you are born with it, smoking might trigger it, and boom, you drop dead faster than an MTV show. So learn your family history. But to try and CONTROL people on how to run they're own lives by indulging themselves in LEGAL activities is just beyond American and what it USED to stand for. This fucking PC shit has turned this country into nothing more than a bunch of fucking whiners and complaining pussies. They better think long and real fucking hard on what they think they want. Nobody thinks about the future and how this devastates an economy. My hometown is about a ghost town now because of this same stupid fucking law. Oh, but people are now 'healthier' even though they are now out of jobs and sleeping on the streets. You want all bars/taverns/restaurants to be non smoking? Ok! Guess what? There are hardly any left now. We quit going out. Nice job you fucking unAmerican fucktard holier than thou non-smoking piece of fucking shit heads. Go PC yourself to death. Preferably in another country!

Unfucking real.

Non Smokers SUCK SUCK SUCK!

Referees SUCK! ! ! ! !

Well, well, well. Did everyone enjoy the "Big Game"? What a great super bowl party. There were about 26 people in my living room. Not really, there were only 2 of us, but I have multiple personalities, so I'm like a gang wherever I go. Anyways, here is what I saw that sucked during my couch proned food orgy tv fest. (just an average day really).

Pre-Game Sucks: Did you catch the interview with Matt Lauer and Hussein Obamalamadingdong? Matt holds up the recent cover of US magazine, and mentions that he's not on the cover, just Michelle and the girls. The president says "I lost my spot to Jessica Simpson, who appears to be battling a weight issue". OUCH. Burned by the president on National live television. How will she respond? Will Jessica: a) loose weight. b) sue the president for damaging remarks. c.) have Tony Romo beat him up. d.) Be so humiliated that she locks herself inside a Krispy Kreme doughnut shop and eat her pain away until Oprah has to do an intervention and pay for the wall to be taken down and have a crane take her to Jenny Craig's mountain celebrity rehab retreat for emergency defattening.

1st Half Sucks: Pretty damn boring except towards the end of the half. But I thought the 3-D commercial was cool. Oh, and just to show how cool my life is, I actually got the very last 3-D glasses at the store. That's just how damn lucky and golden my entire life has been. FUCK! We're out of hamburger helper again?!?

Half Time Sucks: The only thing that sucked during the half time mini-concert of Bruce Springsteen and the "E" Street Band is that it just wasn't long enough damn it. The Super Bowl should have a Super Half Time show, that extends 2 or 3 hours for a normal concert. Let everyone at home and at the game get totally fucked up and wasted. It can only enhance every one's viewing pleasure. But seriously Boss, could have done without the sliding crotch into the camera. Thanks for making me question my sexuality pal.

Second Half Sucks: Did you just happen to notice just a tad bit of yellow during the second half? I haven't seen that many flags since I went on a blind date with a psycho escaped ex-con meth addict with 8 illlegitimate kids. It's ok, I'll wait until you get that one. Well, there were 18 flags thrown. Penalties against Steelers: 56 yards. Penalties against Cardinals: 106 yards! Now, first off, I honestly didn't give a shit about who won, so I really am not biased here. But the unbelievable bad calls against the Cardinals were fucking embarrassing. Not for the Cardinals, for the fucking asshole Referees! Some of them were SO fucking obviously non-existent. I've seen harder hits in FLAG football. I hope those Refs enjoy their new Cadillacs the Steelers bought them before the game. But, the one that killed me, was the Steelers James Harrison BEATING THE SHIT out of a poor Cardinal already on the ground. That piece of shit should have been EJECTED from the fucking game. It was UNREAL and disgusting the actions of the Steelers players and the horrible officiating.

All in all it was a truly exciting and good Super Bowl, but it will be marred by yet another FUCKING HORRIBLE SHIT SUCKING BRAIN DEAD CORRUPT CROOKED FUCKING INBRED BLIND ASSHOLE REFEREES! Man, that felt goooooood! This is the only shitty fucking grainy vid of the Henderson fucking asshole shit he pulled I could find.

I can only imagine how much better it would have been if the fucking Refs would have giving the Cardinals a FAIR chance. Well, they did give them a chance I guess. A FAT CHANCE IN HELL! (ha! see what I did there? I'm ever so clever, no?)

REFEREES SUCK!!!

Greed SUCKS!

If the following suck doesn't make you wanna throw up, you don't deserve to breath air. A few days ago, the wonderful people at Bay City Utilities in Michigan sent out one of their people to hang a paper sign on the door knob of a resident's house to inform him that they are restricting his intake of power to heat his home until he paid his past due utility bill. Well, the fucker should pay his bill you say. I also concur, under normal circumstances. But, being that this was in Michigan, and in January, and the country is in the shit tank, you may think they would take this into consideration. Oh, and by the way....the man who was served is 93 years old and a WWII veteran. Just once more...93 FUCKING YEARS OLD.

But fuck him, the God Damn corporation needs their $1,013 from him so someone can buy their illegitimate rat bastard kid a new PlayStation game or their mistress another couple of rocks to keep her big fucking mouth shut so she won't go blabbing to the fat ugly fucking wife that he's been sticking his limp Viagra injected peen in her disease crusted baby hole. Yeah, I can understand that. Happens everyday. So they did what any good American business would do. Yup! Shut him off. So, in January, they turned the heat off on the house of an American WWII veteran who is 93 years old. Oh, and it just so happens, he died INSIDE his house of hypothermia 2 days later. Yeah, I know. What a pussy. Fucking loser.

So of course the poor over worked and over corrupt cops are bothered at Dunkins to come out and investigate. After no answer at the door, they force their way in only to find this 93 year old man frozen to death INSIDE his house. During the investigation on site, the ever so clever police "discovered" on the gentleman's kitchen table was an over due notice from the utility company, with over a thousand dollars in CASH paper clipped to the bill which he intended to pay the same day he froze. Jesus...this fucker couldn't have made it down to the bus stop and come downtown in sub zero temps to give them their money they so rightfully deserve?!? You know the utility company is fucking PISSED that they are probably going to have to go to court and sue his frozen corpse to try and get that thousand bucks. Oh, and they will. Trust me.

Isn't Amercia just the bestest place in the whole widest world?!?! A place where persistence, fortitude, strength, the need for survival, service and the right to prevail is still alive and well and a model for all that follow?

Um, I am talking about the Utility Company and not the 93 year old WWII vet.....right?!?!

I forget.

UPDATE* The frozen vet left his entire savings to a local hospital. Now go get that from them Utility Company. Fuckers. Take note of a TRUE Amercian you greedy fuking McFucktards!

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/04/freezing.death.folo/index.html

full story below
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28858971/